A life well lived?

There’s not a moment to spare Leap from bed! Comb your hair! Walk stridently; with purpose Knock off tasks get things done Your reputation precedes you Your impact must succeed you Accomplishing much, and forgetting it all along the way in exchange for a quick fix of new experience Tally a towering body count Drink a liquor store dry Design a recipe for the perfect fry See all seven wonders in a single day There’s new countries to go to, and ways to better yourself To be satisfied with the way that others see you Satisfied that you did what there is to do But there is always more to do. Read 10,000 books and write a good one Are you happy with yourself? Are you better? Are you the same old package, wrapped up in a brand-new sweater? Or did you sip beers and kick back? Once wondering what lay beyond As the days ticked into weeks blended into months blurred into years A life perfectly content unblurred by tears And when you finally reach your nirvana of abstention do you find yourself wishing you could escape your quicksand surroundings? But if you struggle You’ll only drown faster. And when your time was due Did you fight? War against your nature so entrenched? Hand, fist, tooth and nail Through clouded still-bright eyes Did you give it everything you had And still fail? In the end The end still having found you all the same Whether fierce and with vitality Or lost, acquiesced, lame The end still finds you all the same

Hold my eyes

Hold my eyes Stay in this moment with me Please don’t look away I’m nervous and so are you but things can be okay, this can be everything, just hold my eyes Your hair is strawberry Mine of moonless midnight Please don’t look away I joke—or is it you? We smile and giggle, but I’m still expectant, hold my eyes I’ve nothing to say You speak to fill the silence; hush now Please don’t look away My heart is filling, fibrillating, bursting, bleeding, aching, intoxicated with emotions awash, I implore you Hold my eyes please don’t look away

Vincent and his green wheat fields

So blue, so somber, so intense one can only glance askance His fiery red hair tufting edging his beard his sharp cheekbones sharp jaw sharp nose Outline surrounding, exploding from his palette Eyes clear deep pools containing and absorbing his hyperreal perception he has so graciously shared, but why so blue? Now I understand What you tried to say to me And how you suffered for your sanity How could you produce such pleasant works of wheat fields grass crosshatched and pastel days, paint strokes, lines not radiating, rather rolling, softly, gently, peacefully, invitingly yellow flowers dotting scene How exists both beauty and that look? the lazy brights, alert darks Painter and subject, alive in different worlds Those eyes still stare forward.

Smile at me

I speak openly and you just smile at me Your gaze darts around the room I ask if you’re alright and you just smile at me You softly intone your reassurance But I can see you’re lying You vibrate with unease Is there anything I can do for you? No, I’m fine. Seriously. You lie through your teeth at me you smile at me I reach out You’re defended, dismissive Your discomfort is palpable. It’s infectious, I inherit it Please, is there anything I can do for you? I just want you to have a good time You’re beautiful and without word you’re gone and all that remains is that Smile at me

Causa sui

Disillusioned, struggling against reality reinfusion Institutions lurking outside the window Saplings planted by men's ego Sprouted brown brick, faded concrete, steel and glass shining Satellite dishes, ac units, drainage ditches Rivers run below my feet In a mess of pipes, contained, neat A legacy eternally shaping, influencing, demanding As its' assets depreciate Ideas stagnate, presently avenging their creators mortality They are gone: moved on, moved out, finally resting in oak shade Us, in the shadows-- of their buildings, clouded in smog, on our x-rays: carcinogens working their way into our minds, bodies, DNA malaise worms itself into our fabric of being hardly having just begun they tell us your life is only beginning